Saint Tail meets Lupin the 3rd!
by Mistress-Lumenesca
Summary: The seventh story in the nine part series! Saint Tail and Lupin's gang have joined forces in order to steal the white chaos emerald (thinking it's a diamond, of course). Andromeda's hot on their trail with two new sidekicks of her own.
1. Prelude to insanity

Damnit, sorry for the killer wait! Ok, if this is the first story in the Andromeda series that you've read, I HIGHLY recommend you read the other ones before you read this one. You WILL be confused. You can at least read the first one, but the others are funny, too! And, of course, I have absolutely NO ownership over Saint Tail and Lupin the 3rd.

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"WTF???!!! YOU CALL _THIS _CRAP FOOD?" Fujiko screeched in a terrified Lupin's face. This was the fourth time that week that they had to eat out of a dumpster. Lupin and his gang had ran out of funds, and were forced to eat trash, making Lupin face an angry Fujiko's wrath.

Jigen flung the half-eaten-by-a-hobo banana peel off of the 'table' (a cardboard box with a crayon drawing on top that was supposed to be the 'table cloth'). "She's right, Lupin. We're poorer than BILL GATES!"

Fujiko sweat dropped. "Bad analogy, Jigen." Then, she turned back to Lupin, who was now in the fetal position, sucking his thumb. "GET MONEY…AND FAST!!!"

Goemon, through this whole moment of hysteria…was reading a newspaper. "Hey, you guys. I think I have a solution to our budget problem." He said.

Fujiko looked at it. " 'Help wanted at Molly Brown's Strip Club?'" She read.

"NOOO! NOT THAT! THIS!" Goemon pointed to an article with a picture of a small retreating figure in black…and with a tail and cat ears.

_**KAT ATTACK!!! **_

_**A female thief in a cat costume has been reported running down random dark alleyways, and doing such things that shady characters do. That is why we are going to ASSUME that she is a thief. FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR OWN SAFETY!!! Anyways, there is also a crazy young boy with green hair that showed up around the same time she did, who claims that her name is "Saint Tail" and steals from thieves and gives the items back to their original owner…BUT HE'S GOING TO ARREST HER ANYWAY! Strange, yes? But, he also tells us that she's armed with magical party supplies, and an army of rabid birds. In the professional opinion of a random drunk guy, now is the time to PANIC, AND LOOT STUFF! So, please panic and loot stuff in an orderly fashion. The green haired boy, who identified himself as Asuka Jr., will be handling the problem.**_

"What does this have to do with us?" Jigen asked.

Goemon smiled. "If we can find this Saint Tail, we can convince her that something really valuable belongs to us, and she'll steal it for us and we'll be rich!"

"But what can we tell her to snatch?" Fujiko asked.

"Read the rest of the article."

_**On the same day of the appearance of both mentioned above, scientists found a large diamond in Italy. It is now being housed in the Paris Museum. Saint Tail, if your reading this, we ask you pretty please with sugar on top that you DON'T steal it!**_

"Perfect." Jigen and Fujiko said in unison.

Lupin, who was finally out of his state of trauma, frowned. "I like the strip club idea better." He said.

Fujiko whirled around, about to play soccer with his balls, when Lupin shielded his crotch.

"NONONO! It's not like that! I admit, the thought of you taking off your clothes is quite nice, BUT we have NO IDEA where Saint Tail is!" Lupin yelled defensively.

"THEN FIND HER, DAMNIT!" Fujiko yelled.

"Yes, maam."

"Does someone need my help?" Said a feminine voice behind them.

They turned, and wouldn't you know it, Saint Tail was standing right there.

"Holy crap, that was the easiest thing I've ever done!" Lupin said, standing up. "Even easier then when Fujiko was drunk, and…"

SMACK!

Lupin held his right cheek in pain. "I'll shut up now."

Fujiko, remembering that the girl was right there, put up a façade of niceness, and smiled.

"Yes, little girl! Awful people stole my precious diamond, and it's now being held HOSTAGE in the Paris Museum! Can you get it back?" Fujiko pleaded, faking sadness.

Meimi (Saint Tail's real name) Grinned. "Course I can! I'm the uncatchable Saint Tail! Anything for nice folks like you!" She said.

There was one problem left to overcome in their scheme. Lupin, Fujiko, Jigen, and Goemon had come back to Japan and had later run out of money. How in the world where they to get to France?

"How in the world will we ever get to France?" Fujiko asked.

Saint Tail snapped her fingers, and they were all instantly tied to big balloons, and began floating away!

-

I'm leaving it there for now! I'm too weary to continue. Review, or else Mr. Snuggles gets it! Holds a gun to a teddy bear.


	2. Billy the man eating burrito

HOLY FOSHIZZLE ON A FERRIS WHEEL! I haven't updated since LAST FRIGGIN YEAR! Okay, now to continue the weird quest of Andromeda, and the quirky Hand Held Artificial Intellegence, Talime.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

There was a disturbance in the air. Only a slight flicker, then lights began to flash. It was…..WELL WHO DO YA THINK IT WAS DAMNIT? A MONGOOSE DRIVING A DAMN CLOWN CAR? No, it was Andromeda and Talime teleporting into the world.

"THE HELL! Why is everyone panicking and looting stuff?" Andromeda exclaimed as they landed. Indeed, random little people were running around in circles screaming their heads off, stealing things, and pointlessly lighting things on fire. Oh, and there was a man-eating burrito named Billy. Don't ask.

"Well, they're not our problem, so let's start the mission." Talime stated. "First of all, we need to find the characters that crossed over into the show, then we need the chaos emerald, then we can go!"

Suddenly, Andromeda caught sight of a giant cluster of balloons with people attached to them slowly drifting away. At the same moment, the exact newspaper Goemon was reading earlier magically blew to her feet. She, of course, picks it up.

"Hmm, I wonder what today's horoscope is…"

"YA DING-DONG! Your SUPPOSED to read the main article so you can know what's going on and the story will advance!"

Andromeda quickly obliged, and read the article.

"JESUS OPERA SINGING CHRIST! THEY'RE ON THE BALLOONS!" Andromeda so-loudly exclaimed.

"Took you long enough." Talime muttered.

Andromeda was about to activate Talime's hover device, when she remembered she didn't INSTALL a hover device because she was so damn busy playing NEOPETS! She has a pet named "The Amazing Baron Von Poodlepies", but that's not important right now.

"Ok…well, we know where they're going, so we just gotta find ANOTHER way to get there. And I think I know how…" Andromeda began.

Meanwhile, at Interpol… 

"CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP! LUPIN IS BEHIND ALL THIS!" Inspector Zenigata yelled.

"FOR THE LAST TIME! WHO-EVER-THE-HELL IS NONE OF OUR CONCERN! IT'S SAINT TAIL!" Said Asuka Jr. The other police guys stood by uselessly.

"LUPIN!"

"SAINT TAIL!

"LUPIN!"

"SAINT TAIL!"

"Both."

"HUH?" Jr. and Zenigata chorused, turning towards the door.

And, of course, standing there was…BARNEY THE DINOSAUR WEARING A DOMINATRIX OUTFIT!…Wrong again, it was Andromeda you silly fool.

"Somehow, because of writer's convenience, I have figured out THE ENTIRE PLOT! Now listen up, cuz I got a plan to make everyone happy." She said.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Peeps, it's 3 in the morning, so I'm heading off to Dragon Tails land…I MEAN SLEEP! Uh huh, sure I do. Now review!


End file.
